Holidays, Food, and a Quiet Struggle
How do I navigate the holidays during eating disorder recovery?
The holidays can be tough. If you have struggled with food and body concerns, you might be worrying about the stress of family gatherings... office parties... what to eat... how to regulate... it's a lot!!
These five tips will help you feel more prepared to face the festivities with compassion and skill.
1. Keep routines & appointments
Within reason of course - the holidays are also a special time where slowing down can be more possible and enjoyable. But if you are able, its a good idea to keep your schedule of classes, counselling, hobbies, and so on. The stability and structure can help remind you about the strength and life you've created.
2. Swat Away Diet Culture
We are inundated daily with diet culture messages - macros, protein, exercise regimens, and 'ideal' body shapes. The holidays can make this feel even more intense. Choose to mute social media accounts of people and influencers who focus on these topics, and try following some uplifting or recovery affirming accounts, like @healthy_with_kelsey or @abbieattwoodwellness.
If people want to talk about food, thinness, weight, or anything else that feels unhelpful at holiday gatherings, be clear that you'd like to change the subject. You don't have to over-disclose to do this, and you can make it light-hearted if you like.
Here are a few boundary-setting statements to try out:
- "I don't love this conversation to be honest... I'm trying to avoid talking about such things. Can we change the subject perhaps?"
- "It's so nice we are all together. What's the last time this happened do you think?"
- "God, this conversation is boring. I wonder what Mariah Carey is doing right now."
- "Do you think Tupac is still alive?"
(You know, these would probably work for changing the topic on politics too, now that I think about it. Maybe not the Tupac one. That's got conspiracy uncle written all over it.)
3. Today doesn't have to rule tomorrow
Sometimes days that make us feel like we have 'slipped' can bring about knee-jerk responses to compensate in some way the next day. Maybe we eat foods that trigger old restriction habits. Maybe we eat 'too much' and swear that we will eat less or exercise more the next day. Maybe we feel like we did a bad job of recovery, however that may look, and swear that tomorrow's version of recovery will be perfect.
Resist the urge to make tomorrow a remedy for today. Today was today. Today may not have been your favourite way to do recovery, but it is still a part of your process. You don't need to atone; you just need to remember your baseline.
4. Assign a co-pilot
If there is someone you trust, reach out and see if they can help with being your go-to during holiday events. Maybe you create a code word for when you're triggered, and they help change the subject or cut-in.
This might not be an option for everyone, and not having a support person or system could make your disorder and recovery feel isolating. If you would like to talk with me about support, you can contact me here. And local crisis lines offer 24 hour support when you need someone to listen.
5. Be Gentle
The holidays can be hard for a many reasons not just those related to food and body. Depending on your family and your relationships, the holidays might elicit difficult feelings and extra stress. If you are a parent, you might feel the extra financial and childcare burden this time of year. Remember how much you are doing and how hard you are working. Keep it simple, eat what feels manageable, and remember that you will not be back at square-one when January rolls around. Everything you've learned and every way you've grown is yours to keep, even in 2026.